


Three’s a Crowd but I Only Wanted Us Two Anyway

by junklex



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, M/M, POV Second Person, Unrequited Love, as if this couldnt get more self projecting, specifically pan/demiromantic asexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junklex/pseuds/junklex
Summary: All you dream of is being the one to make Keith feel happy and forever safe. Loved.But you can’t.Someone has already taken that place.And as much as you want to, you can’t scorn the person who stands there, because he, too, is someone you hold dear to your heart. Your best friend.





	Three’s a Crowd but I Only Wanted Us Two Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is literally so self projecting that when i showed it to my irl friends they were like “uhh if you replace the names this is your love life.....” and like. the 2nd person POV does not help my case lmao. anyways sorry hunk ily, and please enjoy my fic :)

 

 

 

Keith. Keith, Keith, Keith.

 

The name sparks joy and warmth inside you. From his jet black locks, his cool and calculating gaze, to his seemingly-permanent grimace that you know only few can change into a wondrous smile (you have, on multiple glorious occasions). All you dream of is being the one to make Keith feel happy and forever safe. Loved.

 

But you can’t.

 

Someone has already taken that place.

 

And as much as you want to, you can’t scorn the person who stands there, because he, too, is someone you hold dear to your heart. Your best friend.

 

You know Lance deserves love, more so than you, as he’s dealt with so much pain and loss in his lifetime. He needs someone to be there for him and remind him that he is indeed loved and not blamed for anything that’s happened in the past. You’ve tried to be that person for Lance, and you know you’ve helped a lot, but a friendship isn’t enough sometimes. That’s okay, you get that. Completely.

 

But why does it have to be with Keith?

 

You and Lance are _best friends_. He knows you’ve been in love with Keith for a while, he’s had to have known. Sure, you haven’t said anything outright, but you’ve implied that you harbor feelings for the lone wolf on multiple occasions. Pidge even knows!

 

Well, Pidge is a genius. And as much as he likes to believe it, Lance is not. He’s kind of dumb.

 

Despite that fact (opinion), though, Lance has been a self-proclaimed love expert ever since you first met! There’s no excuse to not know of your obvious feelings for Keith. Absolutely none.

 

Well.

 

You never did come out to him. You never came out to yourself, really. There wasn’t a need to. People don’t attract you the way Keith does. You’ve never understood how someone can just look at a person and go, “Yeah, I’d tap that.” Even now, with your love for Keith, you...wouldn’t tap that. Maybe if he wanted it, you’d try, but there’d never be an enjoyment on your part. Is that normal? Are you defected in the lovemaking aspect?

 

Man, sex-ed was an absolute farse.

 

Maybe Lance knows your feelings for Keith, but not to the extent of which it is. He’s teased you about people you’ve gotten close to in the past, like Shay, but you’ve always brushed it off with a smile. Shay is great in every way. She’s an amazing friend, and you’d throw your life away to save her and her planet all over again. You know you love her, there’s no doubt. It’s just not that kind of love.

 

Sometimes Lance will poke around with you and Pidge, too. Pidge is a little younger, so that part weirds you out, but you can understand the suspicion for sure. You guys are always together, the two tech geeks after all. Pidge is one of the only people that can speak your language, and she’s really funny. You guys can go hours just lazing around while talking about people, missions, theories, robots, pranks, and just utter bullshit. You’d even consider her to be your best friend. Second to Lance, of course — though now you aren’t sure.

 

When was the last time you and Lance spent that kind of time together? He seems to be constantly busy, always the socialite. You know he cares about you (he’s your bro; your blalah) so you don’t worry about that too much. But maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t gotten enough alone time with the guy to really talk story about this kind of stuff. It’s not like it’d be awkward, considering how much he likes to spew about his serial dating. That doesn’t happen as often anymore, though, ever since he and Keith…

 

You don’t want to say it. Don’t want to feel the words buzzing in your larynx, forming on your tongue, sweeping through your lips. You don’t even want to think it. It hurts, hurts, hurts, too much.

 

Can’t Lance see that? What has made him so blind? So _selfish_?

 

No, you can’t say that. Despite how he seems, Lance isn’t selfish. He’s actually one of the most self-conscious people you know. You wouldn’t go as far to call him humble, but just that makes you smile. He’s grown so much from when you guys first met; false confidence blossoming into true confidence, especially after the discovery of Voltron. Before then, he really was all talk.

 

That didn’t stop you from supporting him, and even after all this, you still won’t stop.

 

Come to think of it, back at the Garrison, Lance liked to show off quite a lot. Especially to Keith. Mostly to Keith. Wait...

 

Has...Lance always had feelings for him?

 

No, that can’t be true. Yeah, he’d constantly try butting heads and forming a rivalry with Keith (who’d always ignore the advances; forever the stone-cold introvert), but that didn’t necessarily make it out of interest. Besides, Lance didn’t discover that he liked guys until after Keith had been expelled. It was that one dude, Benny Something, that flicked the switch for ‘im. They didn’t last more than a week, heh.

 

Still, that’d give Lance all the more worth towards being with Keith. They had more history, in a way.

 

Maybe Lance hasn’t noticed your crush (infatuation, really) because he was too busy with his own. Maybe you guys started liking Keith around the same time. That would explain the ignorance. Especially since Lance’s crushes consume him. He’ll do anything to occupy the attention of his beloved. Usually, it just annoys the other person. It definitely annoyed Keith.

 

But then, it didn’t.

 

You can remember the exact time you started suspecting a romance between your best friend and object of affection (less of an object more of an angel).

 

The constant scathing remarks between the two had become less frequent. Lance stopped shit-talking Keith altogether, which you had been grateful for. They began engaging in voluntary conversations, often with laughter sprinkled about. Lance could be seen tailing Keith around the castle, in the same way you would tail him around the Garrison.

 

You were so happy they were finally getting along, honestly, but at the same time, you had the worst feeling.

 

You’re known as the empathetic and compassionate paladin. The one that brings everyone together. You know this because you’ve always been like that, even before Voltron. It had become a personal project to help Lance and Keith befriend each other ever since their first conflict. So them tackling it by themselves should have come as a great relief.

 

Except, all you were feeling was dread. Dread that maybe they had gotten so close for other reasons than just being friends. After all, the change was quite drastic and out-of-nowhere. This was all only an anxious thought, though. A very unlikely one at that. Didn’t Lance like Allura, anyway?

 

It was solidified during a spar you and the rest of the team had been invited to watch.

 

While watching Lance and Keith jump around as they fought, there was an odd pull you were sure everyone in the room could feel. The smirks on their faces, the friendly taunting, the fall that Keith suddenly took, dragging Lance down with him.

 

It was like watching a romance film, only instead of squeeing out of excitement for the couple, you wanted to vomit. The looks in their eyes as they paused from the startle— though brief, a spark passed through both boys. You felt your lips form a frown and noticed Pidge whip her head towards you out of the corner of your eye. She saw it, too. She knew.

 

From that moment on, instead of feeling happy whenever you saw Lance and Keith together, you only got the awful thoughts of wishing they still hated each other. You still silently curse yourself for even _thinking_ that.

 

Eventually, they brought everyone together again to explain that they were going to start dating. At that point you tuned everything out and just looked at the ground, lost in a dark cloud of thoughts.

 

_How? How could Lance do this to you? Why would he do this to you? You’re supposed to be best friends! Best friends don’t steal the person you like! Lance always does this. He always takes everything for himself and doesn’t leave anything for you. You’ve always only been his sidekick. He doesn’t care about you, and this is proof!_

 

Pidge was there where Lance wasn’t.

 

Now, though the pain is still very much present, you don’t resent Lance for dating Keith. You honestly never have. It was a spur of the moment that overtook you in your weak and vulnerable state. It’s easy to blame someone than to come to terms with the harsh reality.

 

In the past, you thought that maybe Keith liked you back. He’d show his affectionate side around you when you two were alone. He’d laugh at all your jokes, even the bad ones. He’d always compliment your cooking. You were one of the only people he’d hug. The thing is, though, he still does all of that. So maybe it was just wishful thinking.

 

Either way, you’ll never know, because your best friend has his heart.

 

And you just have to live with that.


End file.
